I’m grading my first year students’ Chick Lit papers this week. What fun they had with relationship drama!
They also discovered why writing is the secret joy of introverts. We entertain ourselves!
Look for these excerpts every Sunday for a while. April brings both Camp NaNo and the A to Z Blogging Challenge, so my writing cup will be flowing over.
This one, hands down, takes the prize for Best Opening. How the students loved this awful blind date.
Single Forever by Kelly R.
Love. A painful, four letter word that can tear you apart. It can keep you up late at night worrying, crying, or feeling lonely. For me, it tore my heart open like a Christmas present.
I’m not the love expert or anything. I was hopelessly single all throughout high school and college. It’s not like I didn’t try! I created several dating profiles and even went on miserable blind dates. Guys just don’t like me, I guess.
Even at the moment, the idea of love still seemed to be taking a nasty toll on my fragile heart. I was at a dumpy restaurant in the middle of nowhere, sitting across from a man named Fred who looked like a troll. I know it’s mean to compare someone to a troll, but quite frankly, I don’t care.
On Fred’s dating profile online, he looked like a Hollister model. His talents and interests included ‘snuggling by the fire,’ ‘ killer back massages,’ and ‘preparing a romantic dinner for two.’ Obviously I’d been conned. In person, Fred was short, plump, greasy, and smelled like the sewer. His large, yellow teeth noisily chomped on the greasy pizza he was eating. “Thanks for paying for this,” he chomped. “I’m kind of broke.”
Really? I thought. Why does this always happen to me? Anger bubbled in my throat. No way was he getting a free meal tonight! I decided that I was going to make a scene. A very embarrassing, very public scene.
“Are. You. Kidding. Me?” I yelled, abruptly standing up. The cheap metal chair squeaked and fell over.
“I HATE my life! I hate everything about it! Why can’t I find the perfect guy?”
Fred’s eyes bulged out of his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.
“All of my friends are married and have kids! All I want is a family,” I shouted, choking down sobs. I felt everyone’s eyes in the restaurant turn on me. Even the screaming baby in the corner was silent. I saw the chef peeking at me through the kitchen window.
“You smell like a fart, and you expect me to pay for dinner? No offense, but there’s no way I’m dating you,” I said to Fred.
“None taken,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “Crazy woman,” he muttered under his breath.
I gave him one last haughty look and snatched my purse off the table. With that, I spun around and quickly walked out of the restaurant. I heard several laughs and even someone clapping at me.
I got into my car and drove away, my heart already aching. I was praying that tonight would finally be the night I met my dream guy. Twenty-seven and single was not a good thing. I wasn’t lying earlier, all my friends are married and have kids. And you know what? That hurt. It hurts knowing how forever alone I really am.
~ ~ ~
Kelly is one of a handful of students who want to be professional writers. She has the chops for it, don’t you think?
Find more articles in this series at the Teaching’s in my DNA page.