On July 31st a switch flipped or something. I felt not only well, but normal.
Normal? I’ve been trying to force that feeling for months. But like the doctors said, it needed time and rest to happen. So in August I hit the ground running.
No more scardy cat. No more waiting until my book is “perfect.” I am moving ahead. It feels good to walk with a stride in my step.
Because I’m alive. Those days in ICU are behind me. I can work. And work I must, for I have one month to finish the book and get it out there.
Now I’m formatting the manuscript. Me! I am doing this, learning a new skill. And tonight I sent the file to my beta reader. Next week I’ll start working with the graphic designer. Then the file goes to my proofreader. These things are kind of epic.
It feels good to make progress. Even if I’m inadequate and unsure and scared. I can ask for help and get answers. (And lie down on the sofa when I run out of steam!)
Just like I expect my students to do, right? Speaking of which, it’s a relief to know, not just hope, that in September I will be strong enough to return to teaching.
God is gracious, and my opportunity is now. Who knows what tomorrow holds, right? Hey, I’ve also figured out how to do a screen capture, so I’m sharing the formatted title page.
Some people would call this Living The Dream. And you know what, they’d be right. There are times in life when we get to be The Little Engine That Could. Not every day, but I’m okay with that.
Laura Hile 
I am happy to hear of your improvement. This change in health and perspective deserves a “You go girl!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much! I am grateful and going. Well, until I loose steam and head for the sofa, right?
LikeLike
This is very inspiring to me. I’ve been procrastinating on edits to finish this book off and on for over a year. To be fair, I’ve had many other things that took my time, and the only thing I could control well was my own book, so it took the back burner. I realize I need to manage my boundaries and make myself a priority. But I also let some negative Nellies make me afraid to dig in and get it done. If I let the past control me, they win. With luck, I’ll do this! Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Suzan, since this is my own blog, I’ll give you one of my coping strategies. I’m whispering now, because it’s somewhat shameful, but perhaps it will help. Here it is:
Get yourself to the library and check out books in your genre. Not the classics, not books written by beloved authors, but, well…stupid books.
I see you laughing there at this, my “profound” advice. Find professionally-published, ho-hum books, and then read one. Yes, your mind will wander, and if it’s fiction the characters will be flat and the dialog wearisome and the descriptions way too wordy.
There are plenty of professionally-edited books that are surprisingly dull. “How did this person get published?” I ask myself. “And why did no one help him or her?”
Then open your manuscript, the one with all the so-called “flaws.” Not so bad, is it?
I wish you all the best with your book, Suzan. Don’t lose heart!
LikeLike
Hahaha! The reason I published my first book in was someone wrote a story and posted it in AHA, only she had a huge–uhm, to be polite, self-confidence–and called it a “book” from day one, which is kind of a no-no in there. I read along, and the writing was not bad, cute and entertaining but forgettable, but her anachronisms were awful! I said to myself, “If she can publish this drivel, I can publish ‘Alias Thomas Bennet’!” I got it ready to send to Amazon for conversion to Kindle.
In the meantime, I spoke to a couple of friends about Meryton Press. I wasn’t going to submit because it was too long. I thought my grammar and punctuation, with the betas’ input, was acceptable for publishing. But I was nervous about an awkward section and thought maybe a professional editor could fix it.
Well, it turned out my copy editing sucked, too! I learned a great deal from Gail and Ellen, and it makes me a good line editor. Lesson to all authors: you may think you know how to copy edit your story, but you’d be surprised what you’re getting wrong! Thankfully, I only put my beta hat on when asked to do so, and enjoy a story without critique, unless the editing is so bad it can’t be avoided.
So your advice is bang-on, Laura! Compared to most out there, mine is already tight and tidy, yet I want to make it even better. I need to ease up on myself! Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
See? See? Great minds DO think alike. Send it on to Meryton Press (or run it through your own edit if you’re going indie) and march forward. Hooray!
LikeLike
Indie? Scary! Besides, I’ve been in management too long to not delegate everything I possibly can! I don’t have the skills offered by the staff of a publisher, writers can be crappy at self-editing, I don’t have the time to learn cover design or layout, and I’d rather be writing than take on the project management for my story. If I can get someone else to do it for free, I’d rather be babied through it. If MP decides not to take it, I’ll check other publishers, but I’m pretty sure this story is up their alley.
I have an older one (Studio 54) I might have to do myself, though, as it’s complicated in ways publishers expect you to have resolved before submission. I now know a couple of editors, and I beta for an author/artist!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m hiring out the cover design. As much as I’d like to think I could design something I just—can’t.
It sounds like you have an excellent network all set up. Best of luck with your project(s), Suzan. One foot in front of the other for each of us, right?
LikeLike
Good for you! I’m glad to learn of your progress.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Dee. It’s been a journey, that’s for sure. And it isn’t over, but at least I’m no longer treading water.
LikeLiked by 1 person